I heard cars passing by outside. My head was dizzy and not just from the wine. I had to cool down a bit before we got into the ‘lamb’ part of the afternoon. What would I tell Becky? What should I tell Becky? I sort of wished Becky were here just now. I felt very vulnerable and alone and very hot. Daniel leaned in and kissed; his hand under my dress, petting me. “You’re really wet Phyllis. Do you like my little surprise?” he said. “I’m nervous,” I said. “It’ll be okay. He’s a priest.” “But,” I said, “he’s a very big fucking priest!” I was still playing with James and judging his length and breadth. I changed the subject.“You men won’t like me for this but I have a fantasy,” I said. James said: “About…?” “I said you wouldn’t like it but here goes…” I drank some more wine and told them of my Jesus fantasy…of fucking Him on the cross and how He liked it all and came in me…came hard. I told them all about Mary Magdalene and how they liked kissing. “Tell me, fathers,. But that's just the way my mind works. My imagination runs ahead of me ... for good or for bad, it just does. But here's one way my imagination sees things one year in the future:"I can't believe you've made it this long, Meg," I said."I know, Mom! I can't either! But the timing was just never right." I understand." And what about you?" she said. "You haven't been with him in a year either. How did you last this whole summer?" I don't know. Just like you, Honey. It was a timing thing. The other factor is that he's really serious about Zoe. I so don't want to ruin that for them." You won't, Mom. This is just different. Just like if I get to be with Dad. That will be different too." Megan, aren't I supposed to be the one who tells you things like that?" I said."I guess," she replied. "But I'm so mature for my age, I come up with these things on my own, you know?" I can't deny that, Honey Pie. By the way, I'm glad you and I have been finding time to have fun together." Me too,.
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